As a woman, I highly respect legitimate male authority.
As a daughter, a wife, a mother, I rely on male authority after my reliance on Allah.
I have experienced male authority firsthand in my own life as a grounding, stablizing, reassuring force for good. Male authority is solid, reliable, dependable, trustworthy. My husband is decisive when I am wavering, sure when I am hesitant, and clear-eyed when I am confused. His authority is a relief to me, an easing of my burden, a strength I lean on gratefully.
My children need the authority of their father. All children need a legitimate father figure and male authority to provide order and stability to their lives. Children who grow up in fatherless homes often suffer from behavioral, cognitive, psychological, and emotional issues stemming from the absence of the father. Sons need a masculine role model, without which they often develop into lost, uncertain males themselves. Daughters need a father to gain healthy masculine love and attention from a young age, without which young women often feel driven subconsciously to act and dress provocatively to seek male attention. Fathers provide much-needed discipline and training to both boys and girls, helping children grow into stable, mature adults.
Male authority provides safety.
Therefore, male authority is an absolute necessity for a woman, whether she is a daughter or a wife or a mother.
I have also witnessed its absence.
I have seen cases where there is a distinct *lack* of male authority. In some families, the husband/ father is not strong and has abandoned his role as the authority figure. His domineering wife runs the family with an iron fist, and he passively yields to her ruthless demands, telling himself that he's just trying to keep the peace and be wise and merciful to his wife. It is an inversion of the natural order: the male is stripped of his authority and the female has usurped it and uses it recklessly and unjustly. And he allows this to go on due to his own weaknesses and passivity.
In such cases, the rights of others will be badly trampled under the wife's feet. Usually it is the children who suffer massive injustice. The wife takes more than her rightful due directly from the rights of others in the family, the children suffer the injustice of not getting their rights, and the husband/ father fails to protect them or to return the stolen rights. All to enable the wife's delusions, appease her feelings, and coddle her.
The balance is lost.
The abdication of male authority is an ugly, sad thing that leads to a twisted, depressing situation and rampant injustice. There is no safety. No balance. No stability.
To me, male authority is a beautiful thing.
Yes, some men out there do abuse their God-given authority. They may use it to act unjustly, oppress the weak, hurt their own wife and children instead of protecting them. They want to enjoy the perks of male authority while neglecting the responsibilities. This is utterly shameful. Such are not men, but weak, small males without honor or dignity.
To earn male authority, a man must be a strong God-fearing provider, protector, guide, and imam for his family.
If a woman grew up without a father and never experienced male authority in her life, how would she adapt to the male authority of her husband once she gets married?
Well, she will go through a transition period, which may or may not be difficult for her based on her personality type and maturity level. But she will have to adjust as she experiences male authority for the first time ever, through her husband.
There will be aspects she will love, like the feeling of safety, security, protection. The feeling of stability, balance, order, structure. Decisions made rationally based on principles rather than pure emotion, facts over feelings. The feeling of being cherished, pampered at times even, loved by a good man. Being feminine to his masculine. The symmetry is beautiful.
But with every perk, there is also a responsibility. A woman unused to having male authority in her life may balk at being expected to follow her husband's leadership, obey him, cooperate with him. If she is aggressive, argumentative, or combative, she will have to work to rid herself of these negative traits. She may be unaccustomed to being agreeable, feminine, or opening up and being vulnerable.
These things are usually exacerbated by the degree to which the woman has fallen for the feminist mindset. Feminism actively tries to get women to be "independent" and "empowered" as a "boss babe," all of which will directly clash with being a good wife who cooperates with her husband and submits to his authority. Feminism leads to divorce, the end result of "independence."
Such a woman will need to detox from the poison of feminism.
Any woman on her fitra will love the feeling of being loved, protected, provided for, guided, and led by a good man with legitimate male authority.
It's the safest feeling in the world.
- Umm Khalid
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