Women belong in the home.
Before you get mad about "misogyny," let me explain.
The home used to be a lovely, warm, productive, beautiful place.
Nowadays, the home is mostly empty and still. There was once a time when the home was full and busy, the center of all facets of family life and the hub of all power, decisions, actions.
The woman of the house dominated and participated in many major spheres within the home:
Homeschooling.
Home cooking.
Homemaking.
Homesteading.
Home birth/ natural labor.
Home remedies.
Home business.
The home was teeming with action, and women were right at the heart of it.
The woman (wife, mother) ran the home, and almost all spheres of life ran along lines that all intersected at the center, which was the home.
Home used to be the hubb of life. Home was where much power lay.
Nowadays, that power has been slowed dismantled by modernity and its technology, as the home was broken and the family was scattered.
Power went from the family to the state.
Power went from the home to corporations and institutions.
Instead of giving birth naturally with midwives at home, women were pushed to go to hospitals, a massive network of corporations and institutions.
Instead of breastfeeding their babies naturally, mothers were pressured into using formula manufactured by corporations.
Instead of staying home to raise babies and toddlers, mothers were driven to work at corporations while putting their babies and toddlers in different institutions where strangers will babysit them.
Instead of women being home to cook warm home-cooked meals filled with wholesome nutrition and love, many working moms only have time to pick up fast food or order junk food filled with preservatives and additives from corporations on the way back from the work corporations.
Instead of growing our own food (at least partially) in our own backyard gardens or farms, we are forced to rely on unethical corporations to give us GMO foods covered in pesticide at grocery stores.
Instead of teaching our own children the deen and whatever dunyawi academic subjects our own way, parents are pressured into handing their Muslim children over to the non-Muslim state and its corporations for mass "education" at their institutions.
Instead of shaping our children's character by instilling our own Islamic values and principles, parents are losing to the massive pressure of "entertainment" corporations like Netflix, YouTube, TikTok, and other social media.
Instead of working through problems by talking them out with trusted family members and relatives and friends, modern people just numb the feelings of social isolation and loneliness with drugs manufactured by pharmaceutical corporations made specifically to cope with modern depression, anxiety, ptsd, and panic attacks.
Instead of working at home or through the home with family, in the family business, most people work for other people, at corporations. They only get home at night, drained from dealing with a cold corporation.
At every turn, at every stage of family life, power is being robbed and usurped by corporations.
Power that used to belong to the family, at home.
Power previously held by mothers.
By women.
The Prophet ﷺ said that we are all shepherds, and the woman is the shepherddess of the home, in the famous hadith narrated by ibn `Umar:
"كلُّكم راعٍ، وكلُّكم مسؤولٌ عن رعيَّتِه، والأمير راعٍ، والرجل راعٍ على أهل بيته، والمرأة راعية على بيت زوجها وولدِه، فكلُّكم راعٍ، وكلُّكم مسؤول عن رعيَّتِه."
"Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock. The amir is a shepherd. The man is a shepherd, and he is responsible for his family. The woman is a shepherddess, and she is responsible for her husband's home and children. Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock."
The home was the woman's domain. Her headquarters. Her territory. She reigned over it like a queen over her kingdom.
She had her babies naturally without medication or corporate intervention at home surrounded by her womenfolk, then received full postpartum care and loving support from her women as she recovered from childbirth comfortably. She breastfed her babies, raised her children, tended to her garden and her animals. She cooked meals made with vegetables she picked from her own garden or meat from chickens or sheep she raised herself, and seasoned the food with homegrown herbs and spices. She baked bread in her oven with her women relatives and neighbors, socializing as they worked. She sewed, embroidered, and knitted clothing, milked her own cows and churned her own butter, or that of her neighbor.
Goods and services were shared communally. Sometimes women worked from home, selling or bartering their products or services. Women were midwives, wet nurses, seamstresses, sold or traded food items or tanned hides and leather, among other things. Women helped each other in the feminine domain, and supported their menfolk who were masculine leaders, providers, and protectors.
Her husband worked from or around the home, either on the land or in some type of family business, meeting with people at home. Elders were also at home, supporting and being supported. Children learned manners and knowledge at home, then apprenticed at home or near it, and joined the family business. All major decisions were made within the home, a context where the wife was present and active.
The husband was firmly in charge on the level of family, community, society, and civilization, and against this traditional patriarchal backdrop, the woman of the home was second-in-command at home. The wife and mother ran her husband's home smoothly, like a well-oiled machine. Imagine the responsibility, intelligence, and creativity that it takes to run a household like clockwork. Being charged with the running and upkeep of the traditional home was like being VP of Operations at a small private company. It was not a slight or meaningless post.
But with the advent of modernity, the woman's immense power and high status in the home was slowly diminished.
An inch at a time.
Until nowadays, when the home is largely empty and barren.
Almost as barren as women's womb may one day be, if technology has its way and they invent artificial wombs to manufacture babies.
As things stand now,
Babies are born at an institution, raised in an institution, educated at an institution, fed by a corporation, entertained by a corporation, hired as adults by a corporation. Then in old age, the elderly are held in institutions.
What is left for the woman to do at home?
How fulfilling or satisfying is the role of the modern housewife or stay-at-home mother, compared to the role of her traditional counterpart?
All power and activity has been transferred from the private sphere of the home to the public sphere of the institution/ corporation.
We women at home used to be active participants and producers. We have been turned into passive recipients and consumers.
If everything is happening OUT THERE, and you are stuck IN HERE, of course you'll feel like you're missing out, or like you're stifled.
In such a modern model, the home is a cold barren place that you only go to for sleep, and, understandably, the modern woman has little desire or motivation to remain there.
But in the traditional model, the home was a warm, lively place filled with people and bustling with activity. Overflowing with life and light, with love and laughter.
Women belong in the home.
- Umm Khalid
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